The she-Voyager and the nobble quest
by Riann Carassko
Summary: A well known plot : girl falls into middle earth... But this girl will take part in the epic quest of 12 dwarves, 1 wizard and 1 hobbit. And the most important: she is a son of a bitch
1. The meeting

**Movie and book based… Read It worth's it .**

My name is …I won't tell you, if you want to, dear reader call me the voyager .My role in these stories is very complex. By a mistake I found a new world and I had and I have to survive so you maybe think I'm just a little fucker but you are wrong…

For months I traveled with orcs, hidden as one of them. I couldn't understand what their saying to me but soon I learn their language. Simple commands like GO or CAMP HERE now they are familiar to me. But today they were setting a big trap to someone called Thorin. They give me a serrate sword and a very small bottle with a liquid that shines.

-If we don't kill him and you are the last man stand, throw it against him. It will kill him sooner or later. It's poisonous, the leader said. I couldn't say anything…I'm just a passenger, someone who just takes commands and made it happened, but I felt different for this mission. Like the Lord didn't want to happen this to Thorin.

-Sorry Lord but I want to survive. I whisper after my midnight pray.

After two or three weeks we had found Thorin he was in a place like London called Bree. At the prancing pony a friend of the leader has saw him. I and two others are send dressed with full cover cloaks. By the time we were here I saw Thorin… It was a very short man but very muscular with a sword… I realized that by the time I have turned an orc, I have lost my human self…

So when one of my partners' orc tried to slay him I protected him with all my might. When I finished my argue with my partners.

-Thanks fearless warrior. Said and he offered me a seat by him.

-I'm not warrior and If I was I would be a warriores my friend Thorin. I'm just The Voyager. I said and I drinked from his cup filled by beer.

-Strange name …but how you know my name?

-I was paid to murder you, but sweaty you are too handsome to be killed… I said and grinned

-How much?

-One sword and a bottle with lightning water.

-This how I deserve? He said and he started to laugh

-For your class I think is less…

-Class?

-I mean your height and your warrior skills. By the size of the sword you carry you must be a very powerful and skillful warrior. I tried to flatter him.

- Are you trying to lick my boots?

-Why not? I said playfully

-Do you like adventures? He said

- My name is Voyager sooooo, Yes I maybe like adventures.

-Do you know the way to Bag end?

-Nope…

-Then …would you like to wait with me my company for an epic quest?

-Why not?

Two days passed and I learn some about this mission. The goal is to go to the Misty Mountain. I also met the company: Balin, Dwalin, Bofour, Bifour (sexy boy), Bobour, Fili, Kili, Nori, Ori, Gloin and Oin.

-Thorin you didn't tell us about the beautiful elf lady… said Bifour.

- I am not an elf my dear Hatter I'm just a human from far away. I replied to him.

-Hatter? You know how to named people voyager eh? Asked Balin

-Why no Snowbeard?

-hehehe (Balin and others dwarf laughing)

-If you find a name for me I will rip your tongue! Said Dwalin with hate

-Dwalin stop this! She has a name. Her name is Voyager… maybe it is weird but maybe in her land is very ordinary. She has come from far… you can see in her built. She is tall like a tree, her skin is dark brown, her clothes are like a mix of hoobish and dwarfish clothing style and she has a strange beauty. Not bad but strange… said Balin and smiled to me, She is welcome to our quest: First because she saved Thorins Life and Second because we need more friends to our nobble quest! And also because she knows about orcs and goblin battle tactics and weapons.

-Also I have traveled a lot, I know about things you had never be able to get known. SO my dear companiero shut up and respect me! I said

-Hehehe a girl kick your ass hehe! Said Kili and Fili

-YOU ARE AWESOME!

-Thanks a lot companiero Fileo and Kileo

- You are welcome Voyager.


	2. Baggin u fool

Three days after the argue with Dwalin we reached the Bag End. It was like an English suburbia area fill with green and life not like my home…I can't remember it very well but I never felled that was my home.

There we met Bilbo Baggins the called "Burglar" of the company and Gandalf- a mage. We met him at Baggins home. I wasn't inside because I wasn't very comfortable with 14 men and I had to think. How could I forget for almost a week not pray!

I started to pray. Don't imagine a real existing pray, something like THANK U LORD FOR ALL THE LUCK U HAVE GIVE TO ME. Suddenly the Baggins came out of the house look very angry.

-Hello Mr. Burglar. I said

-Are you the traveler?

-Yep, did they talk about me?

-Yes, they said that you have come from far away, over our little world, that you are an excellent joker and also that you a professional traveler. He said while he was trying to hide his anger.

-Why are you angry? I asked, don't try to hide, I can see you: you are red like someone washed you with blood.

-These dwarfs… Deary voyager, do I look like a burglar? Do I look fearless? He said and he put his hand in his waist.

-Stupid Bilbo, the built of your body hasn't got any to do with your soul! Can you walk like the cat?

-Of course, I am a hobbit!

-Can you hear soft sounds? Like the walk of the cat or the fly of a mosquito?

-Yes, I'm a freaking H-O-B-B-I-T! Do you know what a hobbit is? He turned very angry, it was very red and he was burning.

-Nope but I had heard about your race. And I was very amused with Hobbits courage and psychological strength. So maybe you are the perfect person to be a burglar, I said to him and I reached his shoulder and look straight in his eyes, he looked into my eyes like a child. He was like child to me, you know his height and his baby face, but his eyes was like charcoal ready to born a little flame.

-Am I? He asked

-Do I look like a Voyager to you?

-Yes… I mean you have said that this yours name…

-Mister Baggins can you hold a secret?

-Yes, yours?

-Maybe…


	3. The tale

-Follow me. I said and I went into the house. There was the dwarves and Gandalf.

-Aye Voyager! Bofour welcomed me.

-Hello Hatter and others. Mr. Baggins it's not sure about the role in our quest. He says that he can't be a burglar. So is time for a helpful story that you maybe want hear, cause you will probably never heard.

-Tell it Voyager. Said Gandalf.

-In my homeland we have a very old myth…In a small village… a monster had been slaying the residents for over 500 years… The monster was a windigo: a creature tall as twice my height, with brown covered with blood fur and teeth like stilettos which they can break even and the toughest armor. It very strong and supernatural fast. No one could kill or harm him. One day the monster slays a boy's family. The boy was deformed: he looked like a wolf and his bones were like very thin sticks. The villagers knew about him but they didn't want to see him because they were afraid of him… but when his parents died they made a cabin in the woods and every day the sent him food. They even teach him to read the bible and baptize him. But he was not anymore the same boy. Day by day he became more and more strong. When he turns 15 he was strong enough to pull out the head of your body and break all your bones. Then he seeks for the monster …him the deformed and scaly boy now he wants to kill the monster. After months and years he found it…and with a hit he beat it, he the deformed child. AND IF A DEFORMED CHILD COULD KILL A MONSTER, YOU CAN BE A BURGLAR BILBO! I said loud.

-Is that story real…I mean can someone of your race can born like a wolf? Asked Kili who looked disgusted

-Not only like a wolf… these a lot of deformations a man can suffer. His was just a very usual… there worse...

-Like? He asked

- Born without bones only the skull, with two or three heads…

-Stop I understand. said Bilbo. I will join you but with only one promise…

-What? Said Thorin very scared

-The Voyager come two... said Bilbo

-She will…

After that I get out and get some fresh air. I was about to cry. I wanted to kill myself, I had lied…

-Please Lord, have mercy on your daughter. She lied for a good reason. I prayed and I went inside.

-Why did you leave? Asked Gandalf

-I had to pray.

-Why?

-Because I had to. I growl

The deadly quiet broke Bifour.

-Look Voyager… I know that you may hate your past but could you tell us about you? He asked softly.

-Why?

-Because we want…

-It isn't in need now, but the only thing you can now that I am stray, I don't have someone behind me: no lover, no family, nothing…


	4. The sketch

We started the quest next day. Bilbo was late but soon he show up.

-Sorry …for… But…. he tried to speak but he had been running…

-Don't worry Bilbo you are on time. Said Balin

-Fuck, I forgot my cloak! He said and he turns back but Thorin caches him from the shirt

-Here take mine. He said and he gave him a cloak

-Lord bless us and protect my company. I prayed and all the companieros stared at me

-Why are you praying? Asked Thorin

-For luck. We will need it.

-Your god gives luck?

-Yep…

-Is he good with dwarves? Asked Bobour

-My god doesn't give a fuck about the race you are. He cares about your heart. I said …

-Good, NOW MY FRIENDS LETS BEGIN! He roars and he leads the way.

Hours passed, we had been walking since wasnt with us. I wished to stop but –Thank LORD! Thorin told us to stop. We camp in a glade. Bobour and Bifour started to cook while Bofour started to sing, I sat behind a tree , I took from my bag my block and I started to draw… I didn't know what I was drawing but I felt someone was behind me… It was Fili, Kili and Bofour, they were looking to my draw they seemed scared.

-Wha…aaatt…is that? He asked

-A monster I guess. I said and I tried to hide it but Bifour snatched

-It is scaly…and he is with no eyes. Is this how the boy from your story, the vindigo, look like?

-Nope…It's just a thought of me… I said

-Have you nightmres?

-Yes a lot of…

-Your nightmares are full of these creatures eh? This is why you always are so serious? Poor child, if you have, just waked me up, I will help you. He said and he grinned so wide that I saw all his teeth.

-No you don't understand…I had since I was little, I know they are not real. I have learned how to stand this.

-How?

-By draw it and just wish it isn't true. I said and chuckled.

-Really? Then you are very brave to stand this. And also have the dicks to draw them. He said.

-Voyager are you hungry?

-Yes

-Come with us.

They lead me to the camp. There Bobour and the others had started to eat. When we finished, I was forced to sing a song or tell a story.

-Come on Voyage! Tell us!

-Fine…fine… I will tell you… e.e.e.e…ee...h... What kind of story? Fairytale? Love story?

-Emmmm…has your people stories about dwarves? Thorin asked

-Nope we don't have… you see my people don't know about you… I mean that my kind had never been able to meet a dwarf or a hobbit, but for an unknown reason we have some stories but they are ancient and very few know about them… but only dwarfs and elves not hobbits.

-Why? Asked Bilbo looking very offended

-I think because you look like a human. I mean except the height and the feet, you are like a friend of mine.

-Whatever… can you say a story I had never heard and I will give you my pipe.

-Well shall I began?


	5. The snake bite

I told them the 1001 Arabian nights, I won the bet with Gloin, so now I enjoy the old school way of smocking: pipe and pipeweed. If there was not Thorin or Balin, Gloin would open my belly and make with my bowels strings for Bofour violin.

-Lucker… growled Gloin.

-Not Lucker…JUST BECAUSE I AM THE…, I left time for Kili, Fili, Bofour and Bifour to continue my words

-THE SHE-VOYAGER! They screamed and Bofour started a song.

- Nai Nai Nai Nai Nai Nai Lan

You Lads Here Is the Stray Dog

She Has Passed Mounts and Sees

She has the heaven and the hell seen

Why you stray you are so happy?

Have you seen your Mamy?

(I replied singing)

I had travelede through the oceans, sees and paths

I have seen what man eyes cant

And why I am happy?

No I haven't seen my mother or my father

Cause I don't think they won't be happy

They wished I was dead

But I don't care because I am here with the tales of men

(Kili continued)

- So you have travelled a lot?

How can you feel good when you are lost?

-Maybe Lads she is A V-O-Y-A-G-E-R

She have lived in caves

-And tsantiria! I interrupted

(all the dwarves started to laugh , Bilbo was laughing so hard that I thought he couldn't breathe)

-HEY MY LADS! (Screamed Thorin) BEWARE WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

We will have our balls kicked… So with my very brave battle cry

-We will be fucked! Run motherfuckers! I screamed and I started to run like there was no tomorrow, and in no time at all my other fellows join me.

We met Gandalf and he lead us in the most safe place in the world

-Our host will kill us or he will save us… he said

-I don't care if he is cannibal! I said and I started to run faster than a F1

I reached first the house …

-Where is Baggins?

-HE IS THERE! Screamed Balin

I sprint and when I reached him I realized that the hobbit has bitten by a snake. He was shaking and drooling. I scooped him and I took him like a newborn sheep. Luckily for me he was very thin and I could make it.

-He is poisoned. I said and I throw him to Thor's arms.

-What?

-Thor he is bitten by a snake.

-Gandalf…

-Leave it to me. I said and I searched the marks in Bilbo's body, after a while of seconds I found it. I suck the poison and I tie a cloth around it very tightly.

-He will be…

-Fine? He will be flying in no time at all! I said and I tried to make comfortable Bilbo. He was grumbling…

-Why I should I went through all this? He was soft crying

-Because you are a part of our company. I said and I hug him only to calm him down- he was burning hot. He calmed – like a child- and he started to breathe very fast.

-Shhhhhhhhhhh… is over you are just have fever. I said and I gave him water.

-Voyan, Why I had to follow you? He said

-Because you had to, you are the burglar…

-No I am not…

-Did I told you my secret?

-No…

-It's time for you and the others to know the road I had traveled…


	6. My story

-So let's begin…

When I was very young, I was a little fearless. So to feed my thirst for fear, I became daredevil… haunted houses, creepy stories, ghost games whatever creepy enough to kill or make mad someone. Some of them could make me scream or cry for mercy but the orgasmic pleasure from the feeling of the adrenaline in my blood was enough good to make me wanted more and more. Well, my parents wouldn't pay attention to their daughter because they were a bit old…

They weren't bad, not at lot! They were almost perfect … but they were BORING! They always bought the things I want, but I wanted something to make my blood pressure to run wild, but I know I couldn't have it. So I tried to draw the things my eyes want see... first I couldn't but with practice I became a master painter. With not even an hour in a class I had became a master! Professionals were nothing front of me! But this was not my only talent…I was the Master of Arts. But I wanted more and more! So I played a game…

I played the bath game…is a very dangerous game but I had to. To play the game you have to obey three rules: First don't ask the name of the ghost, its silly question. Second don't wish for the three things you can't have with magic: Love, Longer Lifetime, Death and Third keep your eyes shut when you are playing. I follow the steps: wait till midnight and right at 12 o clock, wash my hair with my eyes shut. The ghost was here…

-Daruma-asan fell down, DARUMA-ASAN FELL DOWN! I screamed

The ghost appeared: a woman with big eyes, red like blood and scars in all her body. The game is to catch her without to see her. Lucky me, the floor was from wood and I could hear her footsteps…I could catch her, I tried-It was very difficult.

I catch her so I could wish whatever I wanted. I wished many times but I think some of them doesn't fulfil. I wished for the ability to speak the language of beasts, I wished to be harmless to poisons of whatever kind of snake or insect. I wished for beauty and as you she my wishes were fulfilled. My last wish was for an adventure that I would remember even after my death. And in a bling of an eye I was circled by orcs… I had to fight for my life, my new powers would help me but I had to survive… I became a perfect orc-goblin warrior, my leader was proud of me in just 6 to 8 months. But when I took the mission to kill Thorin I just remembered what I had forgot …The first promise to my God for my dark interest: never forget to be a human, whatever they can give you. Because this is the worse sin, beyond the seven this is the worse… So I killed the orcs not only to protect but also remember my nature…

-You can speak the language of beasts?

-Yes, I can

-There's a goat…talk to her.

I reached the goat and I talked to her…

- (Goats sounds): Where is our host?

- (Goats sounds): He is out, don't be afraid at the sunrise he will be here, his name is Arcos and he is a shape shifter. If you want milk come here, he has some bottles for his friends.

- (Goats sounds): Can you please gift to my friend Bilbo some milk, he has a fever and he is suffering.

The goat took a bottle and placed it gently at Bilbo's feet.

- (goat speaks) Here you go...

-thanks …Drink it is milk.

All the company was stared on me…

-You speak…

-The words of beasts? Yes… Do you believe me now?

-You had saved our lives and you have healed one of us. You say your God is with us, you also have the protection of a ghost. You can speak with the animals… Please I beg you , can you follow me and my companion to our nobble quest? Please and you will take the 1/15 of our treasure.

-Did I ever said I want to quit? You have my abilities and my will…

-Great!

-And please can you say your name or how they are calling you in your world?

-As I said my name for you is THE VOYAGER! My real name is not in need right now.


	7. sorry

Guys thanks for the reviews but I don't think it's worth it. I am making a new one and I think it will be finished soon.


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